I hate my job and I want to die?

I've been stuck at my job for 6 years and I can't do this anymore. I have a mortgage and a whole bunch of fucking crap to pay for so I can't just quit and start a new career. I hate my job. I feel like a slave and I feel like my thoughts aren't my own. There really isn't much difference to this life than being dead. I get home from work and all I want to do is lie down because I'm too miserable and wasted to give a fucking **** about anything else. I just want someone to break into my house and kill me. Don't misunderstand me, I don't want to die, I love life. I just don't want to fucking do this anymore. I can't. I can't function because all I can think the second I leave is "You gotta be back in less than 24 hrs". It makes me depressed, kills my self esteem, makes me hate waking up in the morning, makes me hate life and makes me wonder how every other pathetic **** in my field hasn't put a bullet in their fucking skull. It's just so useless. I can't imagine how what I do matters a ****. I mean, I know it matters, but it's just so overly complicated, complex and stupid it's almost like things are overly complicated on purpose. Don't get me wrong, I make really, really good money. But holy **** it's not worth it when all I want to do is get killed.

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