My sister is getting married and I am trying to budget for an appropriate size gift. The circumstances are as follows: I'm her older brother, my wife and I make a good amount (though most of it is chewed up by mortgage, child care and student loans) but we are not rolling in it, we are in the NY metro area, we come from a solidly middle class background, the venue will likely be the standard $100 per plate *and* I've been designated as her "maid of honor" (I'll have fun with this in my speech). I was thinking that $1000 would be appropriate given the circumstances. I could probably swing more, but parting with just the $1000 is something I have to plan for. I appreciate the input.
Added (1). As an edit, I'm not looking to be the shining star of impressive generosity, I'm just looking to do par for the course. I get the give what you can thing, but I have always subscribed to the cover your plate rule of thumb and have done plate plus a bit extra if I was in the wedding party. I don't want my sister and/or future bro saying either of the following about the gift: "Well, they have a lot going on, they gave what they could" or "wow, can you believe how much he gave us?" Thanks again!
Added (2). I appreciate the responses, but I suppose I need to make myself clear - I *am* using the "cover your plate" rule of etiquette/metric as a baseline guide. I don't expect everyone to abide by it, and appreciate the "give what you can afford" position - I just don't use it myself as I find what I can "afford" to be too vague (i.e., I can "afford" to give way more in the sense I can do it without missing bills). Frankly, I am trying to avoid sentiment in figuring this out. Thanks again
Added (3). @P - No salon/dress for me (note the "maid of honor" in quotes) given that I'm her brother. :)
Read more: Appropriate wedding gift size?
