My fiancée & I recently got engaged. My parents love me but always made it clear to their kids that if we want a college degree or wedding that they wouldn't be able to help. That's fine, I'm a court house and dinner with close family type of woman. No big fuss, no big bill. My future MIL and I get along well but she expects a wedding and my fiancée would *prefer* a wedding too. I don't mind having a small church wedding and getting a modest reception for around 20-40 people. I can use some of my savings, my fiancée is in pharmacy school and wouldn't mind using his loans to provide a little. The problem is that my MIL would like around 100 guests from her side alone. She would like to invite everyone in her small town & church that she's on good terms with. I just became debt free from student loans and I'm not going to have my fiancée spend 5k+ on a wedding when he's still in pharmacy school nor am I getting into unnecessary debt again until it's time to consider a mortgage. I have 15-20 people max I'd invite to a "big" wedding. MIL has mentioned paying for her daughter's wedding (who is still very single) as well as paying for our honeymoon (which is nice). Should I ask her to chip in considerably for a wedding that big instead of providing honeymoon? Honestly, if I didn't have a good relationship with her, I'd tell her to forget the wedding altogether but I don't want to strain things with her or put my fiancée in a tough situation even though I know he'd elope if I asked.
Added (1). Thanks guys, I cam be a very straightforward person and didn't know whether I should just tell her we're planning our own guest list or if I should offer her to chip in if she wants a say. I'm not too stressed, just trying not to burn a bridge, I want my fiance and I to have a pleasant relationship with the inlaws.
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