My husband told me I look old, ugly and fat - how do I even react to that?

I've been married just over 2 years. My husband has an 11-year-old daughter from a previous marriage. Our marriage is not perfect - who whose is, right? But I am very upset. Three weeks ago he went on a work trip - away for 14 days. His daughter Julia is living with us full-time at the moment. Before he left, I told him I was thinking of changing my hair. He laughed and asked why I would be telling him that. I told him I just wanted him to know - to make sure he didn't care. He laughed and said he doesn't care what my hair looks like. So I had blonde hair down to my shoulders - naturally I am brunette. I wanted to go back to brunette. And my hair had been damaged from bleaching. So when I went to the salon, I went short and dark brown. I love it. His daughter loves it too. He does not. When he came back, he was shocked. He hasn't wanted to have sex since he came back. So i asked him a couple of nights ago what was up. He was honest. He said he hates my short dark hair. He said he married a gorgeous long-haired blonde and wants his wife back. I said it's just hair. He said it matters to him. He also said that I've been putting on weight, but he didn't want to say anything. But he said now with the hair - he said "i am trapped in a marriage to an old, ugly fat chick". And he said he is not interested in sex with me because he is not attracted to me looking the way I do. He hasn't apologized at all. I am So upset. I just want to leave him. I'm so confused.
Added (1). No, our marriage hasn't been perfect up until now either. He is very jealous. He even gets jealous when I spend time with my own father. My father hates him - even refused to go to our wedding. My dad has always told me that the way my husband talks to me is abusive. I guess I ignored it until now. He ex-wife has a drinking problem - which is why she does not have custody of the daughter. I feel sorry for his daughter - she is an incredibly sweet girl.
Added (2). Thanks for all the support. I have decided to get a divorce. When he came home last night, I told him I want him out of my house. The house is owned by my father. I pay my dad a percentage of the mortgage. My husband doesn't contribute to the mortgage, but he pays the other bills apart from groceries. He said he is not leaving - he says I need to get out of the house if I don't want to be with him. I don't know what legal ground I have. Staying at my dad's place for now.

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