Credit cards, Debit Cards…Blah Blah Blah?

I would like to ask about credit cards, debit cards, bank accounts… Etc
All these dumb things confuse me. All these papers and confusion and dog ****. It could all be simple but no, let's steal your ******* money and confuse you.

Now.
I want a bank account where my money comes in every month and is safe. Than I want to use that money by taking cash from an atm, or buying online. Or paying directly with a card. No bullshit. Just that.

Now I don't know if that is a dream in this piece of ****, but I don't want none of the bullshit. None of the debt. No fees or any confusing mustard ****.

I hope you understand my frustration. Waiting for a suggestion.

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